The beginning . . .

In June 2009 I began having some strange health issues. It started with the feeling of being light-headed and then my left hand and foot would go numb. These sensations have made a bunch of things in life "entertaining" or difficult depending on my frame of my mind that day. I went to my family physician after the sensation lasted a few days.  She told me that it was nothing and that everything would return to normal soon.  After about a week and a half I was not feeling any better and went back.  She did blood work and told me my sodium was low and to salt everything I ate and in a week I would feel better.  I waited that week and still did not feel any better and was starting to stagger by this point in time.  I went back to her and she told me that she would send me to a neurologist, but I was "wasting their time". 

I was able to see the neurologist pretty fast and she immediately ordered an MRI and a CT scan. What she found is cavernous malformations.  I was told that Cavernous malformations are groups of abnormally tiny and larger, thin-walled blood vessels filled with blood that may slowly seep into surrounding tissue. The leakage of blood from the cavernoma may be more significant and cause what is called a hemorrhage. 
Since 2009 my symptoms have come and gone 7 times now.  The last times my symptoms started was in August 2012 and they have never gone away:  
~ dizzy spells every day;
~ my entire left side goes numb to the point that my facial muscles will droop;
~ my left side also has permanent nerve damage - I can barely bump myself and it feels as though I have been punched and then other times I can stub my toe against the wall and not feel that I did it;
~ my balance is not good at all - I tend to stagger a lot;
~ I am nauseous on a daily basis without medication;
~ I have headaches on a regular basis - several a week;
~ my memory is also bad, but not on a regular basis;
~ I am affected by sights and sounds that can set off seizure like episodes;
~ when I am tired my symptoms get worse.
I joke that at times I walk like a drunk version of Jack Sparrow from the Pirates of the Caribbean series so I use either a cane or a rollator to help me keep my balance now so that people don't accuse me of being drunk.  I am not mentioning my symptoms for sympathy or pity, but that others can know that they are not alone.

I had been working until November 2012 when my employer called 911 because they were worried about me.  The emergency room doctor suggested that it might be time to stop working and apply for disability and my employer agreed.  That is what I did and I am truly blessed because I was approved on my first try!  My condition is not something that will go away, when I was diagnosed in 2009 I only had 4 lesions in my brain and at my last MRI in September 2013 I have too many to count.

I miss working and would love to go back, but unfortunately now that is just not an option because my life is very entertaining now, but I will not give up.  I garden, hunt, fish and crochet.  Sometimes gardening might mean that I pull weeds for a 5 minutes and then just sit there for 20 minutes while I get energy back and then work a little bit more.  I love to crochet because that is something I can do sitting down so no matter how dizzy or numb I am I can still crochet.

 (This picture is from my main cavernous malformation.  You can see other small spots that are more lesions too. - 11/30/12)