I mailed my medical records to Dr. Spetzler yesterday to see if he will be able
to remove Damian (cavernous malformation).
Now the first of the waiting begins.
When I was at the post office I was so excited! Mike even joked with me to calm down so I don’t hurt somebody in there. I put everything in the envelope, sealed it up and went to pay to mail it. After waiting in line I was getting my wallet out I realized I had forgot to put the money order in and had to get out of line and redo it. Then I had to wait in line again.
I think it is setting in more with me what this wait really means. I am waiting to see if somebody is willing to do surgery on me, remove Damian who has been my constant companion since 2009 and start my new post-op life. I am waiting to see if I am told there is nothing that can be done for me because of the dangers. I am waiting to see what my post-op deficits might be. I am waiting, waiting, waiting.
When I was at the post office I was so excited! Mike even joked with me to calm down so I don’t hurt somebody in there. I put everything in the envelope, sealed it up and went to pay to mail it. After waiting in line I was getting my wallet out I realized I had forgot to put the money order in and had to get out of line and redo it. Then I had to wait in line again.
I think it is setting in more with me what this wait really means. I am waiting to see if somebody is willing to do surgery on me, remove Damian who has been my constant companion since 2009 and start my new post-op life. I am waiting to see if I am told there is nothing that can be done for me because of the dangers. I am waiting to see what my post-op deficits might be. I am waiting, waiting, waiting.
Living with this cavernous malformation has been
entertaining, funny, stressful, painful, and all sorts of other ‘fuls! It has had its ups and downs, but for the
most part I know when I wake up tomorrow what that day will bring. In a way it is easier to know what tomorrow
will bring versus waiting and
worrying. There – I said it – worrying!
I really did not worry until yesterday when a wife put a picture of her husband on one of the support groups who is post-op and on a ventilator. That worried me! That scares me! I know that it is different situations and different everything, but my mom’s final few days were spent on a ventilator and that was my first thought when I saw that picture. People have talked about post-op many times, but nobody had ever mentioned that. A few people said that it can be common after this surgery, but again, I had not heard that until I saw that picture. Please pray for Greg and his wife as they are going through the beginning of post-op that he will heal and go home soon and learn his new post-op life!!
I really did not worry until yesterday when a wife put a picture of her husband on one of the support groups who is post-op and on a ventilator. That worried me! That scares me! I know that it is different situations and different everything, but my mom’s final few days were spent on a ventilator and that was my first thought when I saw that picture. People have talked about post-op many times, but nobody had ever mentioned that. A few people said that it can be common after this surgery, but again, I had not heard that until I saw that picture. Please pray for Greg and his wife as they are going through the beginning of post-op that he will heal and go home soon and learn his new post-op life!!
Deuteronomy
6:5 "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your
soul and with all your strength." (NIV)
I do love the Lord and I am really holding on to this right
now! How can anybody see what we see
every day and not know Him and love Him!
Not just people who are sick, but people who watch the news, people who
see how others behave nowadays. Love the Lord your God with ALL your heart
and with ALL your soul and with ALL your strength. He is there for us, but you have to give Him
what He asks in return. As I sit here
and now have new thoughts running through my head, I will not stop loving Him –
no matter what happens, He is here for me!!
No matter if I have surgery in Arizona or North Carolina. No matter if I am perfect after surgery or
have deficits. No matter what surgeon
performs this surgery. No matter what, I
will NOT stop loving Him with ALL my heart and with ALL my soul and with ALL my
strength. When my physical strength may
be weak and I don’t get out of bed the strength of my love for Him will not
waiver and I pray yours does not either!!
I am waiting!
Lamentations 3:23-25
New
International Version (NIV)
23 They are
new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
24 I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him.”
25 The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him;
great is your faithfulness.
24 I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him.”
25 The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him;
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