Wild Ride

Over the past two years I have been learning things and challenging myself.  I was invited by a woman I knew from high school to give obstacle course racing a try.  I gave her my excuses why my physical limitations would not allow it.  Her response was to show me adaptive athletes who were doing it!

Even though I still thought it was crazy I started to pray about it.  I talked to my doctors and got the ok; with one condition, I have to wear a helmet.  I talked to Mike a lot and he told me he thought I could do it.  I prayed some more and finally said yes. 

After I agreed and registered I fell and hurt my knee that required surgery.  I used this as an excuse to not exercise and get ready.  But total strangers showed up to help me anyway.  When I say help I really mean that I did the walking, but felt they did the pushing and pulling to get me over those obstacles.  Due to pain I had to stop, but I was on a high for months.

I am in a FB group with all of these incredible and crazy people.  

These people have taught me so much about life.  They face obstacles head first on and off the course.  I’ve seen pictures of their kids joining in the workouts.  It amazes me how they have time for family, exercising, and racing, but it seems like they do it seamlessly.  I have learned from them to try and stop trash talking myself.  I have learned that you can change at any stage of life and get healthier.

For trash talking I have prayed – a lot.  I want to see me the way God sees me and not how the world says a woman should look.  I believe in prayer and believe these prayers are helping, but I have a long way to go.

Over the past year I have worked on getting stronger and feel like I have.  I left out one major aspect and that was changing the way I eat to more nutritious options.  So this year I am going to work on getting stronger and eating wonderfully delicious healthy meals and losing weight.  For the first time my doctor said my weight is a concern and she is worried I may have diabetes.

Over the past two years I have learned to pray about things I thought were insignificant.  I have learned to grit my teeth and call on Jesus while doing squats to help me push even though I’m tired.  I’ve learned through Bible study to run my race.  I know this verse is talking about something different, but I have read it so many times: 

 

Hebrews 12:1-3 (NIV)

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, ² fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. ³ Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

I have been doing different Bible studies about perseverance, trusting in God, and so much more.  It may sound crazy, but obstacle course racing is strengthening my relationship with God. 

I can’t wait to see what changes come over the following year.  Not just physically, but more importantly,  spiritually!!

Yet

I have joined a group on Facebook that is all about obstacle course racing.  One of my new friends – yes, I’ve met this person in real life, tells people on a regular basis one single word – YET.  I keep watching this man tell people this, including me, and I think about it frequently.

His response goes something like this:  “I can’t do _____” – yet.  “I haven’t tried _____, but I want to” – yet.  “My hands are too weak for monkey bars and I can’t do them” - yet.  You get the picture.  By that one single word he is giving so much motivation and encouragement to so many people!!

What if we were all like that?  What if we all tried to lift each other up, even with one single word, instead of tear each other down?  Can you see the difference that would make in the people around you?  Can you see the difference it would make in you?

This word has made me stop and think when I say to myself "I can’t".  Not every time, but some of the time is better than never.  This change in my internal dialogue is making a HUGE difference in my life.   What could change your inner dialogue?   Not what others can do for you, but you can do for yourself? 

What would God tell you?

"I'm not able"

     2 Corinthians 9:8 New Living Translation (NLT)

And God will generously provide all you need. Then you will always have everything you need and plenty left over to share with others.

"It's impossible"

     Luke 18:27 New Living Translation (NLT)

 He replied, “What is impossible for people is possible with God.”

"I can't do it"

     Philippians 4:13 New Living Translation (NLT)

 For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength

Yet – that single word can make such a difference!!  If you will trust in God, He can help you with whatever your yet is.  It may not work the way you want, just like in the obstacle course racing group, yet may be different than what we were expecting.  But if you do nothing, that is what you will get.

 

Yet – I said I could not climb these stairs, yet here I am at the top!!

My one year brainnniversary!!

One year ago I had Damian removed!  Here is a video showing the past year!

Junk

I’m so worthless!
I’m fat!
My clothes aren’t in style!
I’m so ugly!
My teeth aren’t white!
I have big feet!
I’m junk!!

I have been thinking about New Year’s resolutions the past week and how people use this as a time to really put themselves down.  Instead of building themselves up, it’s the total opposite!  Well, I have news for you – GOD DON’T MAKE NO JUNK!!!!
I don’t have many friends! 

Jeremiah 1:5 (NIV)

⁵ “Before I formed you in the womb I knew^[a] you,
    before you were born I set you apart;
    I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”

What difference does it make if you have hundreds of friends when God has been your friend since you were in the womb?  He will be there for you ALWAYS!

I have stringy hair!  I’m balding! My hair is to curly/straight!

Luke 12:7 (NIV)

⁷ Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered.
Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

God does not care what your hair is like – they are numbered.  Can any of your friends say they know you that well?  You are worth so much to God!

I’m junk!

John 3:16 (NIV)

¹⁶ For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son,
that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

GOD DON’T MAKE NO JUNK.  Each and every person is special to Him.  He sent His only son to live with us on earth.  Jesus – God’s son – lived a perfect life – never doing wrong.  The people hated Jesus because He told them they were doing wrong and He taught about God and having an eternal life with God.  That eternal life is still here for us.  All we have to do is have FAITH.  FAITH that Jesus IS God’s one and only son!  FAITH that Jesus came to earth to live a perfect life.  FAITH that Jesus died on a cross for your sins.  FAITH that Jesus rose from the grave three days later.  Some ask how you can believe in something you can’t see.  I believe I breath air and I can’t see it and I completely believe in God because of my FAITH!

If you believe that Jesus died to save you please say this prayer and join a local church:

Lord Jesus I know I am a sinner.
I believe you died for me on the cross so that I might be saved. Right now I ask You to forgive me of all my sins. I open my heart to You.

Come into my heart Lord Jesus.
I take this very moment in my life to receive you as my Lord and Savior.

Thank you, Jesus, for forgiving all my sins, and giving me eternal life.

Let my life be dedicated to you Jesus, and help me to be the kind of person you want me to be.

Help me to decrease in myself and increase in you Jesus.

Amen!

(prayer from: http://www.hiskids.org/bible_study_tools/sinners_prayer.html)

6 months!!

WOW!!!!  I can’t believe it’s been six months since I had Damian removed.  He is gone – hopefully forever.  The week before my anniversary I learned, again, the hard lesson that it is not always forever as a Facebook friend found out hers is back.

As I was preparing to write this blog I was thinking about what to put in and leave out and this appeared in my inbox.  I thought it was a great place to start:

Psalm 39:7 (NLT)
And so, Lord, where do I put my hope? My only hope is in you.

My hope has been in Him through all of this.  Through the  good and bad; through the pain; the stress; the confusion; all of the bumps; all of the joys; all of the hugs; all of the loss; all of everything!

I guess I should tell you where I am at:  my left side is still very weak; my hand has lost function and stays frequently in a fist; I still have drop foot and have to wear a brace to walk; daily headaches; lots of confusion; spacing out (told this is not seizures); TIA events; loss of balance; sensitivity to sound and extremely dizzy.

Now I have options- some days my favorite is to sit down and gripe about everything.  I do mean EVERYTHING!  You can imagine how much this helps; you got it, NOT one bit!  If anything it just stresses me out that much more.  This is a better option:

Psalm 98:4 (NLT)
Shout to the Lord, all the earth; break out in praise and sing for joy!

I have to remind myself sometimes to do this, but I think that is better than forgetting altogether.  I could get mad and say I’m going to walk away from God and do this on my own.  I could blame Him if I wanted.  But why - what did He do wrong?  He has shown me mercy, because it could be worse!!

Psalm 116:5 (NLT)
How kind the Lord is! How good He is! So merciful, this God of ours!

I want to be healthy again!  I want to sound like a southern girl again!  I want to crochet again!  I want to raise my left arm up shoulder height and then over my head!  I want to walk without a brace!  I am determined to walk a 5k in six more months! 

Where do you want to be in 6 months?  Do you want to be doing the exact same thing?  Do you want to start a new hobby?  Do you want to read that new book?  Do you want to lose weight?

What’s stopping you?  I have found many reasons to not do something.  I've even said I’m too busy to read a book – now that’s funny!  Let’s all band together to support – motivate – encourage – pray for one another.  

Job

I was scrolling through FB today and somebody wrote about Job and how he served God in the worst time of his life just like he did during the best.  That just really got me thinking . . . I wish I were more like Job!!

I am going through one of my toughest journeys in life, but I am not alone.

Deuteronomy 31:8 New King James Version (NKJV)

And the Lord, He is the One who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed.” 

Through this journey I have met some awesome people.  Lisanne gives me hope, Donna gives me courage, Dad gives me love, Mike gives me strength, Sierra and Cheyenne give me friendship, and Crystal reminds me God is with me.  The list goes on, but I can’t list them all. 

God tested Job in so many ways – he lost everything – his family, his wealth and his health, BUT he stayed faithful to God.  Job did not curse Him, he worshiped Him.  Job did not turn his back on Him, he prayed to Him.  Job knew God was there with him and did not abandon him. 

I hope to be that faithful!!  I hope to stop getting angry and yelling and instead praise God for my health!  I hope to stop complaining and pray for my blessings!  I hope to stop being so self centered and lift up others to God!  I hope to be a better listener; listening to God and my friends.  

We will all go through hard times in life, but we get to choose how we will respond.  I have chosen very poorly at times!!  Instead of crumbling, getting angry at everything around us we could focus on the good things – people who love us, the beauty around us, laughter, and God!!

Comfort Zone

I decided to come out of my comfort zone and show a video about a day in the life with Cavernous Malformations.  No matter where you are in life, God can and will still use you if you let Him!!

If the video does not play please go to YouTube at:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7XMmhmnEk4&feature=youtu.be